weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
