i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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