96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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