I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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