: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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