I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
