Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
