Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
