wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
