chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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