dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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