tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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