dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
