Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
