12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's blow job season.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
