Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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