It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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