THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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