he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
