yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
