"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize