Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
