I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
