he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
