He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
