You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
