There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You were trust falling into bushes
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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