Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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