STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
