how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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