dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
