Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
A+ Viking dick
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