My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize