I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
