Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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