I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize