no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
