i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize