He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I believe in your delicious
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
