Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
