In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
