i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
