he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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