I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
