Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
