If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
