That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize