Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
