somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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