Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
