spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
