I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize