so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
