Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
