hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
