just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We left the knife in your bed.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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