I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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