I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He? As in you personified your dick?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
