R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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