what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
