Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
In America we eat man semen.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize