I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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