I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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