So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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