my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
