What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize