my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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