After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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