I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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