Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
